New Poem

Escape from Reality, a photo by Gilderic Photography on Flickr.

"Marah in the Utter East"

Every year, until the years stop coming
That tree makes bitter waves sweet.    1,4

Finally tired of the shallows, as if wakened from a sleep
Deeper in I plunge to join the frolic in the deep.   2

"Come. Farther up and deeper in!" He bids me through the storm. 3,4
Perfect love drives out the fear and I skim the waves unaware.

And he has gone before me, He knows the way I take.
He left his echoes in the water, come follow in His wake.

1 "And he cried unto the Lord, and the Lord showed him a tree, which when he had cast into the waters, the waters were made sweet." Exodus 15:25
2 "There is the sea, vast and spacious,teeming with creatures beyond number—living things both large and small. There the ships go to and fro, and the leviathan, which you formed to frolic there." Psalm 104: 25
3“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said. Matthew 14
4 CS Lewis references: "Utter East" (Voyage of the Dawn treader) "farther up.." (The Last Battle)

All I have is Christ

Sausalito Sky - Marin County, California, a photo by PatrickSmithPhotography on Flickr.

"I once was lost in darkest night

Yet thought I knew the way

The sin that promised joy and life

Had led me to the grave

I had no hope that You would own

A rebel to Your will

And if You had not loved me first

I would refuse You still

But as I ran my hell-bound race

Indifferent to the cost

You looked upon my helpless state

And led me to the cross

And I beheld God’s love displayed

You suffered in my place

You bore the wrath reserved for me

Now all I know is grace

Hallelujah! All I have is Christ

Hallelujah! Jesus is my life

Now, Lord, I would be Yours alone

And live so all might see

The strength to follow Your commands

Could never come from me

Oh Father, use my ransomed life

In any way You choose

And let my song forever be

My only boast is You"

New Years Resolutions

I've been thinking about what I want to do this year and there are a lot of things I want to accomplish. I want to get more organized, get back into pre-Chubbermunch shape, get involved in a service or church ministry that I can do with Zeke, and become better at keeping in touch with friends. I want to plant herbs on my balcony and finally frame some art. I want write more poetry and learn a host of new homemaking skills.

Sometimes its overwhelming thinking about all the things I want to do and I forget who I want to be.

I stumbled onto this via Passionate Homemaking:

"In her book, Keep A Quiet Heart, Elisabeth Elliot encourages us to focus on the most important of New Year’s hopes:

“Will the young woman find a mate? Will the couple have a child? Maybe this year will be the year of desire fulfilled. Perhaps, on the other hand, it will be the year of desire radically transformed, the year of finding, as we have perhaps not yet truly found, Christ to be the All-Sufficient One, Christ the ‘deep sweet well of Love’” (page 49, emphasis mine).

This year, let us ask God to dissolve all our hopes (however good they may be!) into a single hope: to know Christ and to be found in Him. May this be a year of desire radically transformed, a deeper, truer, knowing of Christ as our All-Sufficient One.

“But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord” (Philippians 3:7-8a)." - Nicole Whitacre

So I'm cutting down my list.

Lord, let my heart be undivided. And my goals be one.

High Beyond

Every end is a new beggining..:))), a photo by Katarina 2353 on Flickr.

High beyond imagination
Is the love of God to man.
Far too deep for human reason
Fathom that it never can.
Love eternal,
Richly dwells in Christ the lamb.

Love like Jesus' none can measure,
Nor can its dimensions know;
'Tis a boundless, endless river,
And its waters freely flow.
O ye thirsty,
Come and taste its streams below.

Jesus loved, and loves for ever;
Zion on His heart does dwell;
He will never, never, never
Leave His church a prey to hell.
All is settled
And my soul approves it well

Before Him

Star over La trobe River, a photo by Indigothedog on Flickr.

Splendor and majesty are before Him,
Strength and joy are in His place.
1 Chronicles 16: 27

Better

Gates to heaven, a photo by Mirza Ahmad Photography on Flickr.

“Better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof.” C.H. Spurgeon

So blessed

Still too out of it to complete the birth story, but just had come on here and post the lyrics to one of Zeke's favorite lullabies. I am just overwhelmed this morning by all that He has done for me, both here in this life, fulfilling my deepest dream in making me a mother; and in the life to come, where this life's dreams will seem but a dim flickering shadow of a shadow of a joy. Take a minute and praise Him with me.

To Christ the Lord let every tongue
Its noblest tribute bring
When He’s the subject of the song
Who can refuse to sing?
Survey the beauties of His face
And on His glories dwell
Think of the wonder of His grace
And all His triumphs tell

Majestic sweetness sits enthroned
Upon His awful brow
His head with radiant glories crowned
His lips with grace overflow
No mortal can with Him compare
Among the sons of men
Fairer He is than all the fair
That fill the Heavenly train

He saw me plunged in deep distress
He fled to my relief
For me He bore the shameful cross
And carried all my grief
His hand a thousand blessings pours
Upon my guilty head
His presence gilds my darkest hours
And guards my sleeping bed

To Him I owe my life and breath
And all the joys I have
He makes me triumph over death
And saves me from the grave
To Heaven the place of His abode
He brings my weary feet
Shows me the glories of my God
And makes my joy complete

Since from His bounty I receive
Such proofs of love divine
Had I a thousand hearts to give
Lord, they should all be Thine
A thousand men could not compose
A worthy song to bring
Yet Your love is a melody
Our hearts can’t help but sing!

The wise man...

Wave @ Lud Castle
Originally uploaded by angus clyne

...built his house upon the rock
The wise man built his house upon the rock
The wise man built his house upon the rock
And the rain came tumbling down


Oh, the rain came down
And the floods came up
The rain came down
And the floods came up
The rain came down
And the floods came up
And the wise man's house stood firm.

The bigger this baby bump gets, the more aware I become of the fact that this little family is about to begin in earnest. And Oh! How I want to be wise and build this house upon the Rock.

"Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain." Psalm 127:1

from glory

Originally uploaded by { karen }

to glory

Thankful

Originally uploaded by Velachery Balu

"...the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. Now the one who has fashioned us for this very purpose is God, who has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come."

2 Corinthians 4:16-5:5



I'm thankful that any year, every year, even if I have nothing, I have everything.

I have seen the white city

City night lights
Originally uploaded by Rafakoy

"Oh Los Angeles we leave you now
At the setting of your skies
As we leave the comfort of your ground
With your angels we will fly

Well you carried us in broken dreams
Like a mother does her sons
We were scattered 'cross your dirty streets
We were dying one by one

And you held us in your city lights
When our eyes had lost the stars
And we made our peace with lonely nights
And you healed our broken hearts

Well they say the Big One's gonna come
And you'll fall into the sea
We will know that then your work is done
And your angels will go free"

Peter Bradley Adams

Hauntingly beautiful song, go listen to it.

I never thought I'd love the city. But its pretty amazing to think about just how many people live and work and love and die within a few feet of each other.

And someday:

In the land of fadeless day,
Lies “the city foursquare,”
It shall never pass away,
And there is “no night there.”

God shall “wipe away all tears”
There’s no death, no pain, nor fears;
And they count not time by years,
For there is “no night there.”

All the gates shall never close,
To “the city foursquare,”
There life’s crystal river flows,
And there is “no night there.”

There they need no sunshine bright,
In “that city foursquare,”
For the Lamb is all the light,
And there is “no night there."

John R Clements

Swing Wide

Sunrise welcome Hmong spirit
Originally uploaded by NaPix -- Hmong Soul

I caught myself
Looking in the mirror
Wishing I was someone else
Cause I was born
With a bleeding heart
And veins of loneliness

And I know it,
I’ve seen it,
I’ve held it in my arms
But love can’t seem to break me down

And I’ve pleaded, I’ve begged
And I’ve bloodied my eyes
Just to feel it
To believe it will stick around

Swing wide the glimmering gates

I told myself
The habits and secrets
Were just to get me through
To get me through the nights
But I got lost
In a world of angles
In a city of greys and lies

And I feel it, I taste it
This longing to be free
Oh, the joy of believing like a child

So you, you there listening
Will you send up a prayer
For me
To help me find the light

Swing wide the glimmering gates
Leave your pride and pain
Swing wide the glimmering gates
And be innocent again

One day I believe
I will open up my eyes
To see the good work that was begun
And I’ll be the only thing I’ve ever wanted to be
And I’ll know that I belong

Swing wide the glimmering gates
Leave your pride and pain
Swing wide the glimmering gates
And be innocent again

Words and Music: Andrew Osenga

Bring on the Wonder

I never look back
Originally uploaded by ziaponca

"I can't see the stars anymore living here
Lets go to the hills where the outlines are clear

Bring on the wonder
Bring on the song
I pushed you down deep in my soul for too long

I fell through the cracks at the end of our street
Lets go to the beach, get the sand through our feet

Bring on the wonder
Bring on the song
I pushed you down deep in my soul for too long

Bring on the wonder
We got it all wrong
We pushed you down deep in our souls for too long

I don't have the time for a drink from the cup
Let's rest for a while 'til our souls catch us up

Bring on the wonder
Bring on the song
I pushed you down deep in my soul for too long

Bring on the wonder
We got it all wrong
We pushed you down deep in our souls, so hang on

Bring on the wonder
Bring on the song
I pushed you down deep in my soul for too long"
Susan Enan

from here to there

Milky Way / Via Láctea
Originally uploaded by Chaval Brasil

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."

Oscar Wilde

and He came into the gutter to take us up out of it...into them.

Waiting for Superman

Late for Work / Tarde pa'l trabajo
Originally uploaded by Eneas

"I asked you a question
I didn't need you to reply
Is it getting heavy?
And then realize
It's getting heavy
Well I thought it was already as heavy as can be

Is it overwhelming
To use a crane to crush a fly?
It's a good time for Superman
To lift the sun into the sky
Because it's getting heavy
Well I thought it was already as heavy as can be

Tell everybody
Waiting for Superman
That they should try to
Hold on the best they can
He hasn't dropped them, forgot them or anything
It's just too heavy for Superman to lift"
(ironandwinesong)

"Put not your trust in princes, in a son of man, in whom there is no salvation." Psalm 146:3

For want of a lightbulb

Most of the time my belief in the sovereignty of God is wonderfully comforting and enthralling. The fact that there is a Plan and a Pattern. That "everything works out for the good of those who love God who are called according to His purpose." Everything. That is an amazing thought.

But occasionally I catch myself giving it a superstitious twist.

For instance, 5 minutes ago my light bulb burnt out and my first thought was, "I wonder what that means. Why did it burn out tonight of all nights?"

I've always loved the old saying: "For want of a nail the shoe was lost, for want of the shoe the horse was lost, for want of the horse the rider was lost, for want of the rider the message was lost, for want of the message the battle was lost, for want of the battle the war was lost. All for the want of a nail."

I really do believe that little things matter. For instance, whenever I'm late for some unforeseen reason, I almost always think to myself, "Maybe if I was on time I would've gotten into a crash... or something."

Most of the time. I love it. It means that not only do little silly, senseless things make a difference, but that little silly, senseless people do too. It means that evil will never, ever win.

But when I say/ think things like... "its a sign" "what does this mean?" "I have a bad feeling about this..." Hmm...

The sovereignty of God, its good sound doctrine. But sometimes... like when I'm home alone and a light bulb burns out. I'm down-right pagan.

V for Vendetta and The Usual Suspects: Tightwads and Martyrs Part III

(You can read Part I and II here and here)

"I'd only told them the truth. Was that so selfish? Our integrity sells for so little, but it's all that we really have. It is the very last inch of us, but within that inch, we are free... I shall die here. Every last inch of me shall perish. Except one. An inch. It's small and it's fragile and it's the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it, or sell it, or give it away. We must never let them take it from us."-Valerie in V for Vendetta


"They realized that to be in power you didn't need guns, or money or even numbers. You just needed the will to do what the other guy wouldn't." -Verbal Kent in The Usual Suspects


What is true freedom?

What is true power?

Are the stoics right? Like this man, should we all strive to through off the shackles of our mortal bodies and cease to need?

Should we throw off all emotional entanglements and go our way leaving everyone behind, because to love is to hurt? Is that freedom?

Should we oppress and manipulate and play with the world around us to gain the upper hand, so no one dares stand in our way as Verbal did?

The story of Valerie in V for Vendetta is sad to me because she was ultimately martyred for her sexuality, and sexuality is only for this life, not the next. But the broader application of what she says is, I believe, true. When we cling to the truth. We are free. They can't touch us. "The truth will set you free."

But it means so much more when that truth is a promise. A sure promise. From a God who changeth not.

When we cling to Jesus, He can lift us up. The Martyrs can sing in the flames and preach from the rack and walk through the Lion's Den. They stand unbound and unburnt in the fiery furnace because Jesus, the Truth, the Word "who became flesh and dwelt among us," still dwells among us. He walks in the furnace. And there, We are Free.


(P.S. Both movies are rated R for good reason. This not a blanket recommendation of them or their content. lol)

Brooke Fraser's "Hymn"

"Hymn"

If to distant lands I scatter
If I sail to farthest seas
Would you find and firm and gather
'Til I only dwell in Thee?


If I flee from greenest pastures
Would you leave to look for me?
Forfeit glory to come after
'Til I only dwell in Thee


If my heart has one ambition
If my soul one goal to seek
This my solitary vision 'til I only dwell in Thee
That I only dwell in Thee


'Til I only dwell in Thee

sidewalk crack

sidewalk crack
Originally uploaded by no. higher

"Who would've thought it but life is finding a way
Through this wasteland of cynics, concrete, and pain
There's a man down here not worried or afraid
That some politician forgot all the promises he made
And he's raising the dreams in the graveyards
Where we've laid down our dead
His name is Hope"

John Mark McMillan

He is Risen

One of my favorites:

Beneath the cross of Jesus I fain would take my stand,
The shadow of a mighty rock within a weary land;
A home within the wilderness, a rest upon the way,
From the burning of the noontide heat, and the burden of the day.

O safe and happy shelter, O refuge tried and sweet,
O trysting place where Heaven’s love and Heaven’s justice meet!
As to the holy patriarch that wondrous dream was given,
So seems my Savior’s cross to me, a ladder up to heaven.

There lies beneath its shadow but on the further side
The darkness of an awful grave that gapes both deep and wide
And there between us stands the cross two arms outstretched to save
A watchman set to guard the way from that eternal grave.

Upon that cross of Jesus mine eye at times can see
The very dying form of One Who suffered there for me;
And from my stricken heart with tears two wonders I confess;
The wonders of redeeming love and my unworthiness.

I take, O cross, thy shadow for my abiding place;
I ask no other sunshine than the sunshine of His face;
Content to let the world go by to know no gain or loss,
My sinful self my only shame, my glory all the cross.

I used to think as a child that we really should celebrate Good Friday more than Easter, because isn't Jesus dying for us the whole Christian deal?

1 Corinthians 15 tells us why Easter is of the utmost importance to Christians:

"And if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith. More than that, we are then found to be false witnesses about God, for we have testified about God that he raised Christ from the dead. But he did not raise him if in fact the dead are not raised. For if the dead are not raised, then Christ has not been raised either. And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins. Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ are lost. If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men.

But Christ has indeed been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep. For since death came through a man, the resurrection of the dead comes also through a man. For as in Adam all die, so in Christ all will be made alive. But each in his own turn: Christ, the firstfruits; then, when he comes, those who belong to him. Then the end will come, when he hands over the kingdom to God the Father after he has destroyed all dominion, authority and power. For he must reign until he has put all his enemies under his feet. The last enemy to be destroyed is death. For he “has put everything under his feet.” Now when it says that “everything” has been put under him, it is clear that this does not include God himself, who put everything under Christ. When he has done this, then the Son himself will be made subject to him who put everything under him, so that God may be all in all"!!!

Hallelujah! What a Savior!